A reading from The Book of Granola, Chapter 18:
22. and the people, exhausted of the World of the Normal, did traipse through the forest for sixty days, nine hours, and forty-two seconds 23. until at last they left the forest and came to the banks of a mighty river. 24. Across the river was a mighTy idol whoso was the living face of the mountain, 25. and the water of life was her hair. 26. To protect the idol, in the middle of the waters stood a solid gold statue of a Mini-Pinscher taller than a tall man, 27. and its gleam nigh dazzled the eyes which beheld it. 28. And beholding this, the people were nigh dazzled. 29. The people cried out to the idol in the rock, saying, 30. “O Granola One, be thou our guide in the Walks of Nature, 31. and we shall be as new men 32. and women, 33. and whatever the hell Dave is this week, we don’t judge!” 33. Thus having cried out, the people stripped to their Tighty Whities and did homage, making offering of brimful frothing cups, 34. beseeching the Migh-T to showeth them the Way.