Who Am I? (And What Can I Do About It?)

That’s the question, isn’t it?

Not only might you be wondering that of me, as you witness me here in this pulpit, dispensing bits of my perspective every week, but you may be wondering that of yourself.

If you are wondering that of yourself, then I am speaking primarily to you today.

Because that is the question, that I asked myself for many years. I found an answer. My answer won’t be your answer, of course, because –interconnectedness of the multiverse notwithstanding–you are not me.

But I pray that the fact of my finding an answer will give you hope in your own quest. At the very least I am proof that it can be done.

So, let us begin with a practical, tangible, real-world framework. Take this website as an example. If you ever look to have your own, or even just attract followers to your profile on whatever social media platform is your favorite, all the experts agree that you have to provide the world a consistent identity. You have to be One Thing, by which the population can recognize you at once.

Some of you may have already realized that this can be problematic.

I mean, take me for example.

I have a measure of musical talent, but that is not all that I am.

In two months I will release my second novel, and begin writing the third. But that is not all that I am.

I make damned good pictures, but that is not all that I am.

I am an ordained minister, a seeker for truth who has spent over thirty years attuning himself to the multiverse. Twenty years ago, one of my favorite strippers introduced me to people as her “spiritual advisor.” My quest has led me to the top of a mountain and the heart of an atom, through countless lives and time periods, and that is not all that I am.

I am a Biker; the ability to live in symbiosis with a machine that puts you in the world and not outside it, and the culture of love, loyalty, honor and respect with which that machine is clothed are such spiritually elevating and personally empowering phenomena that I went ahead and made an honest-to-galoshes religion out of them…and even that is not all that I am.

The only One Thing that I am…is me.

I am all the things above, and more: I have monumental triumphs and catastrophic failures (and even those turn out to be the right things for the moment). I am a Tarot reader and existential philosopher. I am a mama’s boy (without a mama). I am Steward of the Royal Grounds, Keeper of the Temple, Slayer of Demons, Creator of Worlds, Associate of Applied Science, Zen Lunatic, Exquerentibus Veritatem, Learned, Impartial, and Very Relaxed. I dislike confrontation, even though I am capable of it. I have no preference between coffee and tea. I practice quiet meditation and study in the morning, after a night of drunken debauchery. Yet in spite of that, I am nothing at all like Frank Sinatra.

And there is nothing wrong with that.

That last sentence, out of all that self-affirming rant, is the important one.

That sentence is a seven-word magic spell taught to me by an Ancient Egyptian God as I sat up to my neck in filthy water, in a hole in the ground in the middle of a desolate expanse of pretty much nothing that is one of the most sacred spaces in the United States of America.

Don’t believe me?

Your loss, toots.

Each word in that spell undid a seal on the foot-thick iron door of a stone prison I had built for myself, and when the door was gone, I walked out into a whole multiverse of ability, possibility, and tangibility.

And that spell can do the same for you.

Because no matter what details occupy your own self-affirming rant, it is the act of acceptance which sets you free.

When you can say that seven-word spell: “And there is nothing wrong with that,” and not just say it but believe it, and not just believe it but make it true

That is when you leave the prison of Should Be, and walk into a world where you can Just Be.

One Thing.

You.

That, is the Truth.

And the Truth rides a motorcycle.

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